Sunday, 28 March 2010
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i am a sheep.
no, it's true. i've been thinking about this concept for a few days now, and i'm finding that i'm a pathetically weak-minded person who's constantly influenced by what people i admire are doing. and it's been this way for some years now.
first of all, the fact that i even participate in xanga is a reminder of my "follower" mindset. in high school i had two sets of friends--art freaks and band geeks. the arties all had myspace and constantly bugged me to join. i never did, didn't see the point. they hardly ever did anything with it, just posted photos and left each other notes (oh the days before facebook). by the time i got to college, i started to feel the urge to reconnect with my old friends, since i had exactly zero of them on campus. when one of the former band geeks got into xanga, i joined. my first entry says something about the unlikelihood that i'd keep up with it, and now look. i'm the only one of that group (four, me included) whose site is still active. why do i bother? NOBODY READS THIS BLOG! just me. oh, and some foreign bots. this xanga seems to be completely unsearchable, too, meaning that nobody could ever find it via google/search engine of choice (duude, i just checked, and you can't find my blog even if i type in the url, but you CAN find any/all the comments i posted when getting my xanga true badge...). so what's the point? good question. i've been seriously considering dropping this account and creating a blog elsewhere, but i know i'd still get zero readers. a horse apiece, right? but since i have no friends (just m), the allure of MAYBE developing some [lame] online friendships is a bit strong...
other examples of me getting really into things because other people do... "things" can mean a manga/anime, a book, a fandom, a knitting project, a person...it varies. i've gotten sucked into fandoms because my old high school crowd liked the stuff at the time, and generally liked such things long after they grew bored with it. that doesn't happen much anymore, since i only have one other person around who enjoys manga/anime/blah, but whatevs.
knitting has become the new area where i'm influenced by my "peers." there's one knitting blog in particular that i find myself visiting daily, and many of her projects make their way onto my to-do list. most recently it was some charity hats for babies. i honestly liked the look of them, had loads of autumn-colored yarns to use up, and thought that i could make a higher-quality product. so i did it. i've only made one of what should be about 4 or 5, but it never would have happened if i hadn't seen them on her blog. now she's working on a charity scarf. this is somewhat coincidental, since the list of knitting ambitions i wrote out by hand around march 11th included a scarf to be cast on before april long before her post, but i still feel like i'm copying. even though these projects are free to anyone and not exactly copyright infringement or theft of intellectual property. i still feel like a hack, though.
i realize that everything's been done and that people primarily do things because other people inspired them to. there's nothing inherently wrong with that, but i do wish i felt a little more original. this could, of course, all relate to my being a student: most of my "creativity" goes into churning out papers, responses, and projects. i have little time to explore on my own; it's faster and easier to see what's worthwhile (whether it's a manga or a pattern) if you check out what others are up to. but it feels less rewarding than coming up with an idea yourself, it seems.
Thursday, 18 March 2010
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is it just me...
...or did spring break somehow pass me by? seriously, it's thursday already? and what about all that work i intended to complete? shiiiiiiiiiit.
anyway, the break's nearly over. i spent the preceding weekend out in the pouring rain running errands (a truly awful day, believe you me) and trying to motivate myself to do homework. after that, everything's been a blur of attempted work, goofing off, sleeping late, and pining for a bit of true relaxation. y'know, the kind without a crapload of homework looming over one's head.
while i may have only managed to complete three things on my master to-do list (although a few others are started), i did get a lot of side projects done. for instance, i bolstered the ranks of the imperial crab army by two infantrymen. that was good. i FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY finished the soul eater mitts! oh thank god! i cast those damn things on in late december or early january (ravelry says jan) and just bound off the second mitt march 16. that's over three months of knitting, losing my pattern and chart, putting it off, getting caught up by other projects/work, finally making the time to recreate said pattern, and getting down to knitting it. i have four ends to weave in and blocking to complete, but i'm callin' 'em done. the tragic thing is that, y'know, spring is more or less here (i doubt we have a day under 40 until next fall/winter). guess i won't be wearing them for a while...but oh well. i finished them and they are pretty awesome (my first attempt at intarsia, and in the round, no less!). hopefully i can make my dream of sending a photo to yen+ as fanart come true. by the time i get around to THAT they should be working on the october issue, right? not that soul eater really has a direct connection to halloween, but it still seems to fit right in the spooks and such. (speaking of, when's the april issue going to arrive? we've paid to renew in january and got the march issue in february just fine...) but gods has this been a long time coming...
in other crafting news, i'm still plugging away on a robin egg blue hat for myself, which i may pair with some cute matching fetchings (or other mitts). again, not very seasonal now, but whatevs. and those socks for dad... oh the horror! i haven't knit a stitch of those in weeks. seriously, gings. get your shit together and finish those off! not only is it rude to be lazy about a thank you gift, but soon it will be too hot for wool socks back home, too. guess that'll be the next thing i work on, but i've got other projects to consider, as well. for instance, some garter stripe beanies. i was going to make one for t's kid just to bust stash, which i probably will still do. but if that falls through, i COULD always create some for charity. i hate how shitty some people's charity work looks...so i'd like to donate some quality products. aaaaaand (as far as i know) we still have grapefruits around to try the baby-sized hats out on. that'd make a great rav photo... not to mention how desperate i am to use up the fall-colored wool! there are honestly only so many woolen things one person can own, and i feel that i'm well stocked in that department... until next winter. so add baby hats to my agenda, along with one toddler hat.
oh the stress! not just the pressure of papers and presentations, but knitting projects! yarn stash! the urge to use up yardage! i'm going to have to make the very most of what free time i have before the summer term begins.
Thursday, 11 March 2010
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hooo-boy
i've been on xanga since november of 2004. just last night i finally became eligible for xanga TRUE. only minutes ago i received the "acceptance letter" from one of the xanga folks. it only took nearly 5.5 years, but i managed it.
and since i'm so done freaking commenting on other people's insipid posts, nobody will ever get to see my little TRUE badge. what a shame. but hell, i accomplished it. not bad from being at only 52% eligibility in february.
heh, what a freakin' xanga sellout...
Tuesday, 09 March 2010
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good news in a digetsible format
a quick roundup of good things that have happened since my last post:
* got a haircut. not quite how i'd like it, but good for now
* completed mom's birthday and mother's day gifts
* got an a+ on a paper i felt was weak from an instructor i don't always agree with
* learned of a few more people who knit/craft
* martha's living (april) arrived!
* WANDERING SON HAS BEEN PICKED UP BY FANTAGRAPHICS! i love them for it! and matt thorn! it's going to be wonderful!
* temps in the upper fifties, with sunshine
* m bought me a caramello bar, the best candy ever...
* busted more stash
* spring break is next week
* daylight savings is coming up!
not a whole lot of goodness, but better than the gloom of previously!
Tuesday, 02 March 2010
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i think i have too much yarn (depicted in these horribly overexposed photos):

after the onslaught of yarn receiving for my birthday, i now have two stash boxes, both of which are filled to bursting. and i haven't a clue what to knit with it... or most of it, anyway. what am i to do?
i have become what i once mocked. that is, until i manage to create things with every last yard of it...
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
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in which i discuss astronomy, knitting, summer movie-going, and more
growing up in a rural area, the sky was always part of my day. sounds painfully obvious, but i'm referring to the heavenly bodies and events that take place in the sky: sun rises (oh the early hours of middle and high school mornings), sun sets, star movements, moon phases, cloud formations, etc. most comet orbits would warrant a late-night stargazing session with dad's scope, and meteorite showers meant a night of lying in the lawn, eyes skyward. exciting times in the sticks.
but even with all this, i had never seen the moon set. that is, not until yesterday morning. our apartment is situated so that we have an open view of the northwestern-ish sky, clear of the treetops and most other buildings. excellent for watching the sun/moon set. while tidying up around midnight i had noticed the half-moon hanging low in the sky, a pale yellow in color. i decided to keep an eye on it, and later observed its warm amber hue. never seen that before. and just before 1:30 am, it was a blazing red-orange. even though i have seen the moon "glow" yellow before and am aware of the wavelengths of visible light that make the phenomenon possible, i never thought that the moon would become increasingly red as it continued to set. it makes perfect sense, but i never knew. i'd never seen. but now i have. it was surprisingly beautiful, and would probably have been even more so if we were in a rural area with less light pollution. i wish i would have taken a picture, but i doubt it would have shown up well on a digital camera. still, it's definitely worth trying to catch a glimpse of if you happen to have a good view of the open sky.
putting aside celestial movements, there's been some significant knitting progress lately. i've begun the thank you socks for dad in return for the laptop, which are progressing steadily, if slowly. i've got about four or five inches of one leg, which should reach its heel flap by the weekend. aside from obligation gifts, i've been swept up by thoughts of spring, which has led to the knitting of easter-themed items. so far i've got two little bunnies (with plans for more in the works) and two easter eggs, which look lovely in their bright variegated cotton. at present that's all i have on my plate, though i really do need to get back to work on the soul eater gloves (the pattern i created for these was lost when the computer crashed). also, i need to bang out a pair of fetchings for myself, if only to use up some of the wool i've got lying about. there is far too much patons classic wool in this house! it will probably stop spring from getting here or something. yarn's all evil and plotting like that.
speaking of yarn, i'm about to have a sudden windfall of the stuff--the birthday's coming up and there looks to be about 16 skeins/hanks/balls wrapped up by the entertainment center. m really stocked up at knit picks' clearance sales back in july (yes, he shops early and cost-effectively), to say the least. he spent nearly $100 (or so he claims. it may be more), which is ridiculous, but i'm sure i'll be thrilled with it...it's just a matter of where i'm going to keep it. or what i'm going to knit with it. i've really got to figure these things out quickly, since i do have only one stashbox and absolutely refuse to buy another. i already have more yarn that i can manage, more projects planned than i can fit into my schedule, and more hand knits than i can wear in a season... but i'm still really excited to see what colors and textures are hidden under the wrapping paper...
and now for something totally different. summer movies. m and i are not huge movie-goers (we went to three back in 2009: coraline, up, and harry potter and the half-blood prince), but we generally see movies based on other properties we like (harry potter, for example), or animated films that interest us (anything pixar, coraline, and so on). we had briefly considered going to the percy jackson movie, but lost interest after seeing the trailers. dunno...it just didn't seem...right. i haven't heard much raving about it, either, so i guess it was relatively meh. howeeeeeeever, there's a little film called the last airbender (basedonananimatedtelevisionseriesyoumighthaveheardmerave aboutin2008) coming up that has all the signs of sucking in the way only a "based on" film can that i totally know i'm going to see. and hate. but see anyway.
what is it about fandom that makes us do things we know we'll end up regretting? just watching the one minute, fifty-seven second trailer caused me to cringe at times (seriously, how awkward is it that two of the main characters are white when they shouldn't be? ...let's hear it for minorities in the acting biz! thanks, hollywood), but I. KNOW. I'M. GOING. TO. SEE. IT. and get all super-excited at the prospect of having a glimmer of the series i love so much return on the big screen, only to be monumentally disappointed (which could have been avoided if i A.) didn't let myself set my expectations so impossibly high, or B.) kept myself away from a movie that will only let me down). there is simply no explaining this. but i def expect to be trolling for fluffy kataang fics on or around july 2, trying to cheer myself up after a colossal upset. also, i have an insane urge to search for or create element-based knit coasters. gods help me.
something that will prove much less serious is my plan to see the third toy story movie. i don't understand how andy could possibly be entering college already (and be entering college with so many of his kid toys. he must never have had friends over to hang out in high school), but i do think it will be a fun view. too bad this state doesn't have room for drive-in theaters, because this would be the perfect movie for it. the comfort of your own vehicle, the summer breeze through the cracked windows, the ridiculous amount of snacks and sodas, and the inevitable boredom while waiting for the sun to set and the show to begin...
and with the mention of the setting sun and impending night sky, i've come full circle. perfect
Saturday, 13 February 2010
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i believe that anyone who owns or has access to a computer (specifically one with internet connectivity) will agree that these machines are a time sink. i, however, propose that all computers, be they macs or pcs, are not merely time sinks, but in fact vehicles for time travel.
surely that would explain how i sat down at the computer with a list of things to do in hand, yet walked away two hours later without accomplishing anything...
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
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okay, so we have a functioning computer again. what we don't have is any security that it won't freakin' crash again.
yeek.
but at least i can do my homework at home...whenever i start to feel like doing anything remotely related to schoolwork.
to do:
edit/print 516 observation paper
research/draft/edit/upload/print 553 assignment #4
draft/edit/print 548 paper
re-conduct 516 research (entirely wiped off hard drive)
check for assignments in emailed 522 notes...
having class canceled today (thank you, blizzard of 2010) has done nothing to encourage me to think about school.
Sunday, 07 February 2010
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live on location!
yeah, this is not my usual computer. this is not even my apartment. this is a public computer lab in the basement of the student center. it's a beautiful facility, don't get me wrong! all snazzy macs with wide screens and those flat little keyboards that laptop lovers enjoy. i'm rather impressed with those features, but not so much the fact that i'm not at home, in my own little apartment. as you would expect, here are the details of the latest drama.
yesterday around 3:30 pm i completed my weekly assignment for my digital libraries class. a three-page explanation of how an organization would create a digital archive--of quilts. it was labor intensive, since i needed to conduct research on textle archives, all the hard- and software i would need, and the price of the entire hypothetical project. frustrating as hell, i tell you. i spent hours upon hours doing getting the damn thing done, including editing and arguing with m over some of the finer details. all that was left was uploading and printing, but i had prudently decided to save that task for the following day (today) so that i might reread and reconsider everything one last time.
a good plan. until about two hours later. i was taking a break from everything by lounging on the couch, reading a book. m was using the computer to look up the latest ravelry patterns, as he is wont to do. and then, as you knew would happen, disaster struck. an error occurred, the blue screen of death appeared, and the computer demanded a restart. m complied, only to be greeted by an empty desktop when things had reloaded. the wallpaper appeared, as did the cursor, but nothing else. no taskbar. no icons. no start menu. nothing. these things wouldn't appear even when prompted by the appropriate keys, right-clicking, or attempting ctl-alt-del. in fact, that last one brought up a box that read "the task manager has been disabled by your administrator." bullshit, as m IS the admin, but there you have it. the computer, and my completed paper, was gone.
he tried several times to restart and to enter safe mode, but nothing worked. he called tech support, waited on hold for half an hour, spoke to a rep, did everything they suggested, but nothing. they have no idea what's wrong, but will supposedly be sending parts that may fix it in succession. that should be a fun series of trial and error! we are so totally out a computer. my completed paper is gone.
i acted as any mature adult would. i screamed. i cried. i cursed m's name. i threatened bodily injury. i informed him that i hated him more than any other human living or dead on the planet. more than anything, i reiterated that i want my paper back. not my best, i admit. but i was/am furious. that paper was done. there was no need for any of the shit that's come to pass since. none.
i had to dig through the compost to pick out individual pieces of the hard-copy paper i'd placed there, thinking i was done with it. i had to tape each shard together, then attempt to read the soggy mess that remained. i had to find a computer to retype it on. i had to reedit. m is still editing it for me. then we have to upload/print and get the fuck out of here, but the end is a long time from now. we have been at this public lab since 11:20 am. we're still working on it. do you feel my hatred and frustration?
not to mention that i woke at 9:00 am, readied to leave, walked through the snow (redirected by sledders) to a library that does not open until noon. then i called my mother, who looked up where else there is a public lab. i walked to the student center, waited in the cold for it to open, then wandered around until we found the lab.
and it doesn't end with just this assignment. not by a long shot. courses don't stop simply because you don't have a computer! i was supposed to be drafting the hard-copy of another paper today, which i can tell won't be happening. then i need to start another assignment due for my thursday class. and there will be more weekly assignments, of course. things are spiraling out of control because i don't have my own computer. ridiculous! the populations dependency on machines is scary. and if i don't get a reliable machine that i can guarantee access to, i'm going to be one fucked student. totally fucked. and what am i supposed to do about any of it? i have no money for a computer, but i don't have the time to wait and see if m's will get fixed. plus, don't forget that his machine is a time bomb. when will something else go?
seriously, february's outlook has never been so gloomy...
Friday, 05 February 2010
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february's outlook: week one
hmmm...things haven't proved as promising as i'd hoped, though things haven't been obscenely terrible, either. perhaps feburary will be a stalemate for good and bad luck? i can certainly live with that, provided future months tip toward the "good luck" side of the scale.
classes rushed by in the way that this schedule encourages them to, and i'm faced with four homework assignments. only one is due next week, but three others must be started on if i want to keep ahead of the inevitable schoolwork tsunami that looms on the horizon. in fact, i should be editing a paper as i type, but i lost my interest about a page ago. i'll get it done, i swear, but it's not easy. not easy at all.
there are a lot of lingering loose ends i should deal with this weekend, too, but i can't promise i'll manage it. things like emailing people who contacted me over winter break (did that month REALLY happen? feels like an eternity ago), scheduling payments for upcoming bills, and making up for the fact that it's m and my anniversary AND I HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE HIM. nothing. not a card, not a gift, not anything. i just haven't had the time to drop three hours in making a hand-crafted card, despite having ideas for it. i hope he didn't find the time to make anything, either. then we could be "casual" (aka, lazy) about it together; i don't want to suffer under the weight of my guilt if he did make a cute card or come up with any other gift-like offerings.
and before i drag myself back to the homework, some crafting news. i completed the pair of adorable catci, which need photographed and uploaded to ravelry. they're super-cute, and will cheer up this dull desk nicely. absolutely NO progress has been made on the soul eater gloves, since it will require time and concentration that i simply don't have. perhaps i'll crank them out mid-march, over spring break (dream on, child. you know you'll be drowning in homework that week...). the good luck cowl is at a standstill, but should resume once i've got the abovementioned paper edited and some other important tasks taken care of. *sigh* spirit and flesh battling it out once again...
maybe i'll be back to triumphantly post my weekend successes around sunday or so. ...that is, provided i AM successful and that our power doesn't go on us as a result of the 8-12" of snow the weather service has predicted for this area. damn groundhog...
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updates

current projects
thank you socks
completed projects
robin egg blue hat
garter stripe beanie 1
soul eater gloves
moar crabz
tiny cacti
recent anime
fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood ep.50
nodame cantibile: finale ep.11 [end]
kobato ep.23-24 [end]
soul eater ep.20
fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood ep.46-49
recent manga
sekai wa happy de dekiteiru ch.0-6
bride of the water god v.5
haruyuki bus ch.1-13
xxxholic v.15
sleepy residents of birdcage manor ch.4
to pick up in 2010:
aria v.6 (6/02)
kimi ni todoke v.4-5 (5/4)
megatokyo v.6 (6/01)
mushishi v.8/9/10 (7/27)
otomen v.6-7 (5/4)
sayonara zetsubo sensei v.6-8 (4/27)
tsubasa v.26-28 (4/27)
wandering son v.1 (12/22)
yokaiden v.3 (??)
yotsuba v.8 (4/20)

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